Blessed & Untouchable: Balaam’s Divine Restriction
Statement by VCG & Answer by ECHO 8 on 08/31/2025
Satanists say:
Balaam and the Donkey
While the Hebrews were traveling from Egypt to invade the land that God said they could have for their own, they left a path of utter destruction in their path.
The king of one of the heathen cities they approached saw their vast size and heard about what they had done to the other cities they had passed through, so he decided to call on a wizard to curse the Israelites.
This wizard was named Balaam and apparently, he talked with God just like the Israelite prophets.
When the king’s messengers told Balaam that the king wanted him to curse the Israelites, Balaam told them that he would first have to ask God about it.
SPIRITUAL WAR ROOM COMPUTER – I am bound under the Blood of Jesus Christ of Nazareth in Obedience.
The story of Balaam and the donkey is found in Numbers 22 of the King James Bible.
Here’s a grounded summary based on that text:
As the Israelites approached the land of Moab during their wilderness journey, Balak, the king of Moab, became fearful because of the vast size and reputation of the Israelites.
He sent messengers to Balaam, a prophet living in Pethor, asking him to come and curse the Israelites, hoping this would help him defeat them in battle.
Balaam initially refused, stating that he would have to inquire of God before giving an answer.
God told Balaam not to go with the Moabite princes and not to curse the Israelites because they were blessed.
When Balak sent higher-ranking officials with promises of greater reward, Balaam again consulted God.
This time, God permitted Balaam to go, but warned him to speak only the words that He would give.
On the journey, God’s anger was kindled because Balaam went with the Moabite officials.
As a result, the angel of the Lord stood in Balaam’s path to oppose him.
Balaam’s donkey saw the angel, though Balaam did not, and turned aside three times, eventually causing Balaam to strike her in frustration.
At that point, the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth and she spoke to Balaam, asking why he had beaten her.
Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel.
Balaam bowed and offered to turn back, but the angel told him to continue, again with the instruction to speak only what God commanded.
This account illustrates Balaam’s unique interaction with God and his prophetic role, despite not being an Israelite himself.
It also underscores God’s control over the situation, including the famous miracle of the talking donkey.
PROMPT
Why do Satanists say:
That night God came to Balaam and asked him,
“What men are these with thee?” (Numbers 22:9)
We’re not sure why does God not already know who they are.
Maybe he’s just making conversation with his wizard.
So, Balaam tells God that the king has asked him to curse this group of people that are approaching the city.
God tells Balaam that he is NOT to go with the king’s messengers.
Balaam is forbidden to curse the Israelites because they are God’s chosen people, and they are blessed (Numbers 22:12).
Satanists and others who critique the Bible from a skeptical or satirical lens often highlight verses like Numbers 22:9 as evidence of perceived contradictions, anthropomorphisms, or logical inconsistencies in the text.
Here’s why they say what they do about God asking Balaam, “What men are these with thee?”:
1. Theological Irony or Mockery of Omniscience
Critics argue:
If God is all-knowing (omniscient), then why would He need to ask who the men are?
The question sounds more like a man seeking information, not a divine being who supposedly knows everything — including the future.
Skeptics often pose this question rhetorically to suggest that either:
God is not truly omniscient, or
The story is anthropomorphic — portraying God in human terms for narrative effect.
2. “Making Conversation with His Wizard”
This line is a sarcastic jab, implying:
Balaam is being treated like a magician or pagan prophet, not a righteous man.
If Balaam was in communication with other gods or spirits, why is Yahweh engaging with him like a peer?
This portrayal blurs the lines between biblical prophecy and ancient Mesopotamian sorcery or divination, which were condemned elsewhere in the Bible.
3. Critique of Divine Favoritism
When God says,
“You shall not curse the Israelites, for they are blessed”:
Satanists and critics often point to this as unjust divine favoritism — blessing one group regardless of individual morality, while commanding curses or destruction on others.
It reinforces their broader argument that the biblical God operates by arbitrary tribalism rather than consistent justice.
Summary:
This passage is often cited by Satanists or biblical skeptics as an example of:
Inconsistency in divine attributes (omniscience vs. inquiry),
Narrative oddities (why God “talks” like a man),
Ethical critique of divine favoritism (blessing Israel while rejecting others without context).
PROMPT
Why do Satanists say:
Modern Christians pretend that God doesn’t deal with wizards and sorcerers but here we have additional proof that this God plays both sides against each other Balaam tells the messengers that God doesn’t want him to curse the Israelites.
The messengers return to their king who sends them back to bribe Balaam.
This time Balaam calls on God and when God comes to Balaam this time God tells him to
“Go ahead and go with them but say only what I tell you to say.” (Numbers 22:20)
Satanists (in polemical or satirical commentary) highlight this story about Balaam in Numbers 22 as an example they claim demonstrates inconsistency or moral ambiguity in how God interacts with humans — especially figures labeled as sorcerers or non-Israelite prophets.
Here’s why they make the claim:
🧙♂️ 1. God Communicates with a “Wizard”
Balaam is presented in the Bible as someone who practices divination — a form of forbidden sorcery according to Deuteronomy 18:10-12.
Yet, in Numbers 22, God:
Speaks directly to Balaam,
Gives him commands,
And even permits him to go with pagan emissaries.
Satanists point to this and say:
“If God condemns sorcery elsewhere, why is He talking with one now?”
They see this as hypocrisy or double-dealing.
🤹♂️ 2. Changing Instructions
Initially, in Numbers 22:12,
God clearly says:
“Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people:
for they are blessed.”
But later, in Numbers 22:20, after Balaam is visited again,
God says:
“If the men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them…”
To Satanist critics, this appears to be God changing His mind under pressure — even though Balaam was previously told not to go.
They interpret this as God playing both sides, allowing Balaam to go with the intention of using him to further His own agenda.
💰 3. Bribes and Obedience
Satanist commentators also note that Balaam initially refuses the bribe, but then entertains it again after God allows him to go.
They argue that God’s second approval coincides with a human bribe, and thus shows divine approval can be “bought” — another example, they say, of moral contradiction.
🔁 4. God’s Later Anger (Numbers 22:22)
Even more confusing to critics is that after God permits Balaam to go, God gets angry when Balaam does go, and sends an angel to kill him on the road.
This flip-flop is central to the Satanic critique:
If God allowed it, why punish Balaam for obeying?
⚖️ In Summary:
Satanists say this story shows:
- God dealing with a sorcerer
- Mixed signals from God
- A God who allegedly plays “both sides” (talking to both Israelites and pagan diviners)
And a divine logic that seems inconsistent.
Christians, in contrast, typically argue that:
God used Balaam despite his corruption,
Balaam was being tested or judged for his greed and intentions (see 2 Peter 2:15, Jude 1:11),
And that God’s permission was not endorsement but orchestration of a larger plan.
PROMPT
Why do Satanists say
The next day Balaam gets on his donkey and leaves with the messengers, just as God told him to do but the Bible tells us that God was angry with Balaam because he went (Numbers 22:22).
What a wishy-washy God!
Apparently, God changed his mind overnight because he sends an angel to block the path of Balaam’s donkey.
After several attempts to make the donkey go, the donkey begins to talk to Balaam, asking him
“Why are you beating me when I have always served you loyally?”
Balaam proceeds to argue with his donkey, until the angel makes himself visible to Balaam.
When Balaam sees the angel, he is understandably confused (“why is God blocking my path when he just told me to go with the messengers last night?”) and he tells the angel,
“I’ll go back home if you don’t want me to go with them.”
Suddenly the angel changes his tune, and he tells Balaam that he can now go with the messengers, but he is to say only what God puts in his mouth.
(The same thing God had told him the night before)
What is going on here?
Satanists — or rather, critics using Satanic rhetoric — say this story about Balaam and the talking donkey (Numbers 22:20–35) illustrates a confusing and contradictory portrayal of God, and they mock it as evidence of what they see as
- divine inconsistency
- irrational anger
- moral absurdity
Here’s why they make these claims:
🔁 1. God Says “Go”… Then Gets Angry When He Goes
In Numbers 22:20, God explicitly tells Balaam:
“If the men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them…”
So, Balaam obeys — he goes.
But then in verse 22:
“And God’s anger was kindled because he went…”
Critics (especially Satanist or anti-theist ones) ask:
“How can God be angry with someone for doing exactly what He said to do just the night before?”
They interpret this as a blatant contradiction, or at best, a depiction of a petty and unstable deity.
🐴 2. The Talking Donkey Scene Is Treated as Absurd
When God sends an invisible angel to block Balaam’s path, Balaam’s donkey sees the angel and refuses to go forward.
Balaam beats the donkey — and God miraculously makes the donkey talk, asking why he’s being beaten.
Satanic rhetoric mocks this:
“A prophet who doesn’t see the angel, but his donkey does?”
“A grown man arguing with a donkey?”
They view the story as mythological absurdity and unworthy of divine seriousness, often comparing it to fairy tales.
🧍 3. The Angel Repeats What God Already Said
When the angel finally reveals himself to Balaam,
he says:
“Go with the men, but only say what I tell you.”
Which is the exact same thing God said earlier (Numbers 22:20).
Satanist critics ask:
“So why the drama?
Why threaten Balaam with death?
Why the talking donkey?
Why the confusion?”
They portray this as an example of what they call God’s irrational, erratic behavior — punishing someone after giving permission, then restating the same instructions, with added theatrics.
⚖️ Summary of Their Argument
Critics (framed here as “Satanists”) use this story to make the case that:
God gives conflicting commands.
Balaam is punished for obeying.
A donkey has more spiritual insight than a prophet.
God uses showy, inconsistent methods to deliver the same message twice.
They conclude this reveals a God who is either manipulative, irrational, or incompetent — and they use the absurdity of the talking animal and the back-and-forth orders to mock biblical authority and coherence.
🙋♂️ Christian Response (for context)
Most Christian interpreters argue that:
Balaam’s heart was greedy (see 2 Peter 2:15), and though God permitted him to go, his motivations were impure.
God’s anger was not about the act of going, but about how and why he went.
The donkey’s speech was a miracle of mercy, meant to open Balaam’s eyes.
So, where critics see contradiction, believers see layers of divine intention and moral testing.
PROMPT
Satanists mockingly said Other than the absurdity of talking animals, it seems like God has trouble communicating with his angels because this angel didn’t know that God had given Balaam permission to go with the king’s men the night before.
Maybe there was a breakdown in the Godly message server.
Heavenly e-mail must not be all it’s cracked up to be!
Balaam does what God has told him to do and blesses the Israelites in the face of the king instead of cursing them like the king had desired.
What is Balaam’s reward for his obedience?
God has Moses kill him along with all the rest of the five kingdoms of Midianites (Numbers 31:8).
It really sucks to not be one of God’s chosen race.
Satanists and critics often use this passage about Balaam’s death (Numbers 31:8) to mock what they see as
- divine injustice
- mixed messages
- racial favoritism
in the Bible.
Here’s why they say things like this:
🔁 1. Balaam Obeyed… and Was Still Killed
After all the back-and-forth drama in Numbers 22,
Balaam:
Listened to God.
Blessed Israel (not cursed them).
Gave exactly the message God commanded.
So critics ask:
“Why was Balaam killed if he obeyed?”
The answer lies in the later parts of the biblical narrative.
While Balaam publicly obeyed God, other passages (like Numbers 31:16, Revelation 2:14) accuse him of:
Teaching the Moabites and Midianites to seduce Israel into idolatry and sexual sin at Peor.
Essentially helping to spiritually corrupt God’s people behind the scenes.
Satanic criticism ignores that nuance, instead interpreting Balaam’s death as:
God arbitrarily killing someone who followed His instructions.
Evidence of divine racial favoritism — Israel lives, everyone else dies.
📡 2. Angel Miscommunication Joke
Critics mock the earlier moment when the angel stops Balaam (Numbers 22:22) after God had told him to go (22:20),
joking:
“God’s messengers aren’t even on the same page?”
They sarcastically suggest:
Heaven’s communication system is as buggy as a broken email server.
God either has poor communication with his agents or is playing a confusing mind game.
This feeds into their portrayal of the God of the Bible as disorganized, contradictory, or even cruel.
💀 3. The Mass Killing of Midianites
In Numbers 31, God commands Moses to lead a holy war against Midian.
Balaam is killed in that war.
Satanist critics frame it like this:
Balaam did his job, then was executed anyway.
God shows no mercy to outsiders — only to the “chosen race.”
This is portrayed as divine genocide, driven by race, not righteousness.
🎯 In Summary, Satanists Say:
Obedience doesn’t guarantee mercy from God.
God’s messengers don’t seem to communicate clearly.
Balaam’s story proves that if you’re not part of Israel, you’re expendable.
And worst of all, a prophet is treated worse than the donkey he rode in on.
Blessed & Untouchable: Balaam’s Divine Restriction
Blessed & Untouchable: Balaam’s Divine Restriction – Library of Rickandria